Communication fails easily

Writing emails is easy. It doesn’t take much time. There shouldn’t be anything new about emails, so
why even bother writing about them?
That’s right. It’s not a new thing. Still everyone can get better in communicating by email.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about writing emails. Firstly, it’s difficult to figure out the perfect
subject line and summarize the nature of your email in as few words as possible. Secondly, it can be
hard to make yourself understood correctly.
Emails are challenging:

1. Some messages are too long. It feels like the writer doesn’t get to the point, or you have to figure out the important information yourself.
2. Messages can also be too short. Additional questions are needed to figure out what the sender wants to say.
3. Emails can be sent at the wrong time. The right timing can be very important. It might not be the best idea to send emails when people are off duty. If there is no hurry to send and email, it can be more effective to send it a bit later.
4. Usually emails need some follow up.
5. Sometimes face-to-face communication would be more effective. It’s always not possible, when people are located in different places.

The interesting thing is, that emails can be easily misunderstood. Instead of sending an email too soon,
it could be important to read it one more time.

Usually it’s nobody’s intention to write a rude email. It can be avoided by trying to think about how the
receiver will understand the message. The tone in emails can be negative or commanding unintentio- nally. Human communication can fail.

The observation about how easily communication fails, was made by Professor Osmo Antero Wiio
in 1978. The fundamental Wiio's law states that "Communication usually fails, except by accident".
According to Wiio, a message, that can be interpreted in several ways, will be interpreted in a manner that
maximizes the damage.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiio%27s_laws

I think Wiio is quite right. What would he have said about email communication? That's even harder
other forms of communication. Emails shouldn’t be the only way we communicate. Real conversations
are important.

“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.”

— Brian Tracy

The things you don't want to do

It’s fun to make new plans. In the beginning of the new year many of us feel optimistic and full of

energy. It feels like anything can be done. Then the reality comes in. It doesn’t feel so easy to make

the positive changes you have planned.

The mornings didn’t suddenly turn easier this year, and I wasn’t feeling more energetic in the

evenings than last year. Still I have tackled the difficult things and my never ending to do list.

There are things you could just leave them as they are. Who cares about emails? You read them and they stay nicely in the inbox. They will never quit to come. It’s the same with cleaning the house. The cleaning is never ending. But stopping cleaning would be crazy. Who wants to clean a house, that hasn’t been cleaned in a long time? I try to remind myself of being consistent.

My organized year started with going through my emails, pressing the delete key and cleaning the house. It’s amazing how many useless emails you can save. The question is, why they are saved and not deleted, because you don’t need them. Well, the answer is simple: you might need the information some day. Just might.

One interesting thing is the notifications different programs send to you. For example I got a notification last year from my Dropbox-account. It said something like this: your Dropbox-account is decreasing in October on a specific date. And it meant, that the account should be checked so that no photos would disappear. I did it, in the last minute.

The solution to the problem could be this:

• going through emails on a regular basis
• deleting the useless ones
• checking trash also
• deleting junk mail
• archiving emails and creating folders
• reading the notifications from different programs (Dropbox for example) 

Another useful thing, that I started doing, is keeping my calendar up to date. When I know about an event, I put it in my calendar. This sounds very simple too, but it isn’t. Because it’s easy to forget it. It has to do with the emails. You get an email, and there is something important, and you think about adding it to your calendar later. Later. Then you forget about it. And of course you can’t find it anymore, because the inbox is full with emails.

The lesson learned:

• add important events to your calendar as soon as possible
• also add important information about the events
• add reminders about things you have to do

I also did a weekly cleaning schedule for the house.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”-Tony Robbins

More organized than ever

This year I’m going to be more organized than ever. That is what this blog is going to be all about:

Getting things together. Do you believe that it’s possible? I think getting things organized sounds

more like one of those posts on Facebook, where people tell how they have been drinking only water

for six months and eating just healthy food.
A life that is well planned sounds also a bit boring. No more procrastination and everything done in

time. Boring or not, it’s not going to happen right away. Changes are done step by step. After all,

recently I have realized that planning things more is not so boring. When you have a lot of things to

do, and only a limited amount of hours to get it done, planning is essential for survival.
Many of my weeks have looked like a total mess, that I have tried to get through. I recognize myself

from Sophie Kinsella’s books. I find myself getting sometimes into really funny situations. Grabbing a

shopping basket instead of a trolley, buying way too many things and then trying to carry them all to

your car for example. How foolish is that? Sometimes the funny situations are a result of hustle.

Things happen, when you haven’t planned what you’re doing.
I feel like I’ve had the habit of doing most things in the last minute. Procrastinating the less

comfortable things and spending the little time I have with social media or just doing nothing. That’s

not a problem if you have a lot of time. The problem comes when you don’t have. And you start

feeling stressed, because you suddenly lose all the time you could actually do things you love and

get forward with them.
There are always explanations why things are not done until the last minute. And there will always

be. Still there can be time found for the things we think are important.
My writing has been very spontaneous. I’m not much of a planner, it’s much more fun to do things

when you have the right feeling to do them. Unfortunately that’s not the way to get forward in writing.

A blog needs to be planned, and time needs to be owned. I have a lot of ideas for writing different

things. Many times they stay as ideas and never become something real. All because the lack of

planning. And of course, a little bit of laziness.
That’s why I haven’t been writing this blog for a while. I have many times thought about not writing

anymore, because I can’t get texts finished on time and not being pleased with them.
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. There is no free lunch, habits aren’t changed in a blink of

an eye. Ideas need to be developed until they become something real. Now I commit myself to this

blog for the year 2018. This will be a blog about personal development. Getting things done, even

small things. Actually I believe the small things are in fact the big things. They can make a big

difference.
I started writing this blog for about five years ago. Many of the texts have been much shorter than

planned and the ideas not so well planned. This year I will try to find a clearer concept and focus in

writing texts.
Happy New Year!
“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”

-Oprah Winfrey

Keeping your creativity alive

It's too easy to pick up the phone and check the messages. What happens next is, that I get lost into scrolling a bit of this and that, usually not useful information at all. Wishing I had more time, that little time is spent on reading other people's updates. Still inside me, I know there are ideas, that are just waiting for the magic moment.

Where are the good ideas coming from? Or actually it we should ask ourselves the question, when.Lately I haven't had any good ideas, hardly any ideas at all. The days have been mostly about running the routines, my mind has been too tired to produce any useful thoughts. And some of the routines tend to pile up until I'm forced to do something to them. You can call it laziness, or just bad time scheduling.

The other side of the problem is when usually no ideas and texts get finished. It's very annoying actually. Still trying to find a solution to that problem.

In a perfect world all the texts and ideas are finished in no time, right? If we wait for that moment, it's never going to happen. I've become quite sure, that there is no magic moment. A moment when you just get into the flow of writing (with no effort).

That magic moment is created by you.

You create the time and space. It takes time and effort, and a certain daily time to work on things to get forward. Still it seems like I need MythBusters to prove me, that there is no other way. I know, this has nothing to do with science. Maybe it might be easier for some people though, who knows? Researchers claim to have found a 'happiness' gene. Maybe there is a gene for this matter too.

My every day "get away moment" has been updating a picture to Instagram. Freezing a beautiful moment, maybe adding a thought. Better than nothing, and a nice hobby.

Now after a long break I gave time for my thoughts, and started writing. I had to check if I'm still able to write. I forced myself to concentrate on just one thing. And I did it. Today I have a 'all things can happen' feeling.

Creativity needs space. When the mind is too crowded, the ideas stay away. For some people it might be the mornings, for some it can be evenings.

Take your time.

Peace of mind for five minutes

Do you still remember when life was simple? There were no possibilities to follow all the time what was happening in the world. Phones were used for talking and nothing else. And well, you know how it is now. Distractions here and distractions there. It's hard to concentrate on one thing at a time.

I don't know how simple it was in reality, but it seems like it was easier to control everything with not so much information available 24/7. I'm ready to return to the days before social media and smart phones. They are distracting me way too much. The only problem is, that there is no returning back.

Maybe the problem is, that I'm not able to control my use of time. So, the solution is in my hands.

My problem is, that I could easily go through my day without accomplishing nearly anything. To do a little bit of this and that. Starting many things and not finishing anything. There is always a distraction coming when I'm finally focused on something. It doesn't help that I wake up a lot of times every night (kids, you know.) Anyhow, I usually get things done. Another thing is, how good the outcome is. It would be fun not to only do the minimum to "survive". I'd rather do something that I could be proud of.

It's very easy to spend time on things, that aren't really important. For me it can be for example to take a quick look at the Facebook newsfeed. Suddenly "the quick look" can take at least thirty minutes. And was it useful? Usually not. Every time the useless distractions make my mind wander away from the things that are truly important and uplifting. The ones taking me towards my goals, the things I dream of.

No wonder why there are courses on how to control time more effectively. If it would be easy, everyone could their time with no effort. I know myself, that I have to work on this thing and become the master of timekeeping.

I find it helpful to think, that my day consists of three parts. The first part is when I take the kids to daycare and travel to work and work for certain hours. The next part is when I travel back and pick up the kids and then it's familytime until the go to bed. After that starts the last part of the day (when almost all my energy is used). Then it's time for housework and relaxing.

I don't need five minutes of fame. What I need is five minutes of peace.

What helps in scheduling your day?

1. Not checking your phone too often.
It's useless to do all the time, especially when you know there is nothing, that needs your urgent attention.

2. Taking certain moments in the day to do specific things.
Being organized and concentrating on things. I wish it would be easy.

3. Focusing on one thing at a time
Trying to do many things doesn't make you effective. Usually the result is not too good.

4. Dividing your day in pieces.
Daily routines and concentrating on living in the moment. You can only do the things you have in front of you, not reach to the things ahead.

5. Removing things that create distractions
Sometimes the emails and phonecalls can wait, when you need to concentrate on something.

6. Cleaning the inbox
If you don't clean the inbox regularly and archive emails, it's going to be a great mess. And it's impossible to find the things you are looking for.

Sky is the limit

"The limit is not in the sky. The limit is in the mind."

-Unknown

It’s really hard to change the way we are thinking. We all have our own limits. Many times we limit ourselves more than we should. That results in "playing it safe." Not taking unnecessary risks and only doing things we are comfortable with. Sometimes also spending all your time with people you know well and avoiding to get to know new people. It's easy and nice. You could also call it boring. 

In reality there are many possibilities in life to learn new things and jump outside the comfort zone. Making your dreams come true usually needs some bold steps to be taken. And nobody else can take them instead of you.

Can we really achieve things we dream about? People dream about extraordinary lives and many times end up living ordinary lives. Maybe it's the lack of confidence and fear of taking risks, that stops us from going after our passion. Life should be an adventure, right? 

Sometimes I wish there were more people who would say: "Go after your heart" than those try to make you understand how impossible your ideas are. The voice of doubt is always there. It seems like we are usually encouraged to "play it safe." Every now and then I have to tell myself: "I think it's possible". Every dream come through starts somewhere. Without taking risks you will never find out. If you have a new idea or something you want to achieve, it's always worth trying.

"We can not become what we want to be by remaining what we are"

-Max DePree

I believe, that you can do more than you think. It's true, that every person has special gifts and can do some things better than others. Still also practicing  is needed. Nobody becomes a skilled musician without practice. Also writing needs practice. How much do you want to learn something new?

When we started renovating our old house together with my husband we had no idea what we were getting into. There were lots of new things to learn and sometimes you learn only by making mistakes. That way of learning takes a lot of time. Always the result is not as good as it could be, which may lead into doing the same thing one more time. While learning wallpapering the walls did not look as they should. Some years later it bothered so much, that we did the walls one more time. Another thing was grinding the walls. Learning to do that took time and patience. The machines are not that hard to use. But getting a smooth wall is challenging. And if you don't take the time needed, the wall will look very bad when it has paint or wallpaper on it.

What do you want to do?

This is my own list for taking steps outside the comfort zone

1. Learn new things
Life is about learning. Be curious and practice new skills. The lifelong practice of learning is what makes us humans and our lives worthwhile.

2. Be ready to make mistakes
Turning thoughts into deeds requires confidence.I guess nobody really wants to make mistakes. Still it's impossible to avoid them if you want to do something new. There is a saying that "Mistakes are the steppingstones to learning."

3. Seize the opportunity
Keep your eyes open. When the opportunity comes, be ready!

My first half marathon

Always try something new. Never understood those crazy running people? Me neither.

There I was, among hundreds of people, ready to start running 21 kilometres. Load music coming from the speakers, inspiring runners to get ready and going. People stretching and starting to move towards the starting line. My first half marathon was about to begin. Ready or not, now it was showtime. Some weeks ago I had doubted my ability to run such a long distance for many times. And for a good reason. Well, you know how some people practice like crazy for certain events (which I also should have done) and usually get good results too. I had been able to run 9,43 kilometres once, which was the longest distance I had been running ever. Meanwhile others were running 15-18 kilometres, just like that. Touché. I had done what I could. You can't practice while having flu, or when kids are keeping you busy.

Running has never been something I enjoy. If someone had told me two years ago, that I would be running a halfmarathon, I wouldn't have believed it. When I started practicing, even five kilometres felt like a long distance.

This morning I had taken the train to Helsinki. It seems like everyone was coming to the Stadium with some friends, or they were a part of a team. I realized, that I was going to go there alone. Not a good idea, should have thought of this before. It's much more fun to go with a friend. Well, couldn't do anything about it now. My husband had already started his run one hour before mine. I went to take my stuff to storage and it started raining. Great. At that moment I wished this not fun experience would be over as soon as possible.

Ready, steady, go! Here I was running around Helsinki with lots of people. Wow. I would never have thought, that time went so fast. The painful part started at 15 kilometres. If my legs would have agreed, now it could have been the right time to add speed. I guess the hardest thing is to know what speed you should run. I knew, that if I would tun too fast my energy would be used long before the finish line. If I would ever get there.

There across this run I actually started to understand life deeper. I ran past some people, who ran past me after a while again. There was a limping man, who kept up his speed persistently and finished his run just a bit after me. Some little girls where encouraging runners on the way, wishing energy and power. That was sweet. Sweet were also the power gels I ate during the run, wouldn't have survived without them. And finally the finish line was there, I had done it.

And what did I learn? Running is not only about your legs working, it's between your ears. It's a decision to keep running, no matter how you feel. It's about going outside your comfort zone and not giving up until you pass the finish line. Some people who encourage you on the way will be helpful.

After the run my legs started to hurt so much, that I had big challenges to get home. Every step was painful, so I was limping to the train station very slowly. When I made it home, I felt like a real winner.

Next morning the pain wasn't totally gone. It had just turned into sweet and bearable. Almost nice. I have to be crazy. Who enjoys aching feet really?